December 2000


Volume V	By Edgar T. Penguin	December 2000

When Bugs Attack Early last month a member of our household, Oinkers, was attacked by the King of the Alien Bugs; Ziroch. The bug used the computer keyboard to type a threatening message of world domination before quick thinking Oinkers smashed him flat. Luckily Oinkers was unharmed during the event. Due to the recent temperature drops the alien bugs are disappearing, but there are still a few lurking in dark corners, so be wary of them. First Snow of the Year The first snow of the year has come over the Thanksgiving weekend. Many used this time to take advantage of winter sports such as snowball fighting and snow-bear building. All those who wish to do this should dress warmly. Interestingly enough, Fritz the friendly town goat had this to say, "This is an unusual year, we don't usually see snow till late December. I wonder how much colder it can get." Hopefully not too much colder! Christmas Contest The Penguin Post is holding a contest for the best Christmas picture. Winners will be published in the next edition. Please have entries in by the 26th of this month! Contributions Accepted If you would like to contribute an article, puzzle, picture etc please have it in by the 29th of each month!	Shelob Picture by Oinkers Alien in Our Midst Last month an Alien came and took up residence with us! The alien's name is Shelob, and she is disguised as a common house cat! Joey and Charlie may be fooled by this disguise, but many of us are not! Oinkers has decided that this alien is in league with Ziroch, the alien bug king (see "When Bugs Attack"). He is trying to think of a plan to defeat this alien, but since not much is known about her it is going to be a challenge. A special warning to all :Do not attempt to defeat this alien yourself, she is much to powerful. She is armed and dangerous, keep your distance! Need Christmas Cards Made? It's that time of year again, and we all need to get our Christmas cards doone! Need someone to draw them for you? Contact Oinkers and I will be happy to help you! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!	Internet Connection Far from Imminent Last month I reported that a rumor was circulating that we might be getting the internet back soon, I must now out these hopes to rest. My sources tell me that there will not be an internet re-connection any time in the near future, as the phone company is charging for calls that were not made by anyone in this house. I hate to say it, but it looks like it will be an internet-less New Year! Christmas is Comming Christmas is coming once again, and there are only 24 days left until the happy holiday! I, for one, am making my preparations early. Everyone needs to remember to make Christmas cards and Christmas presents. Plans for a Christmas party are in the works, but there has not been a date set yet. Happy Holidays! Alien Purring is Really Communications By Oinkers I, Oinkers, have discovered a surprising fact about our alien, her purring is really communication! That's right, she is not purring because she is happy, rather she is communicating with the mother-ship all details of life on earth to aid them in conquering our planet! Do not be fooled by this creature, just because Charlie and The-Short-One are! They even took the alien to Iowa over thanksgiving! Did they take any of us? Nooooo! Just the Alien! They will be sorry when aliens are controlling our planet! But never fear, friends, together we can defeat this alien!

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