November 2003


Volume XL	By Edgar T. Penguin	November 2003

New Alien Threat By Oinkers Hello my friends. Once again I write to warn all of yet another advance made by the crafty and clever aliens. To begin with, as many now know, the aliens have two new henchmen which hang around outside. They are both full black and considered extremely dangerous - stay away from these creatures! Most importantly, though, for the sake of planet earth keep our aliens away from them so that no messages can be delivered! Also, the aliens have a new ally, the spiders! That is right my fellow earthlings, a swarm of alien spiders was sighted in Iowa, and their giant alien king was seen by nearly everyone to be hanging on our front door for a few days, no doubt checking up on us. If you see and strange spider behavior report it to me immediately so action can be taken! I know this is a dangerous situation, but if we band together and do not waver from our purpose we will once again foil the aliens evil plan! Still Taking Donations Oinkers is still taking donations to help move his web site to a new home. He would like to point out that "everyone benefits from it. I post news for all of you, including this paper". If you would like to help donations will be taken on Allowance day. LOST One pair of fuzzy green shoes belonging to Tearful teddy. If found please return at once. Word Jumble eumppkipin kteruy natumu fitnsugf	Comedy Act Clyde and Cluckers Picture by Oinkers Comedy Show a laugh Riot Early last month Cluckers and Clyde combined their talents to entertain us all with a comedy show. The set started with your standard warm up remarks, but soon turned hilarious as Cluckers appeared wearing bunny ears and claiming to be Clyde's long lost brother. The laughs continued as they finished up with quite a "You know you're in Missouri" jokes, in my opinion the highlight of the whole night. A date has not yet been set for a new performance, but let's all hope it is soon, and give a big thank you to these funny teddies! Thanksgiving Approaches Halloween is over, and once again Thanksgiving approaches. As he does every year, Doggie is calling for assistants to help him cook the yummy dinner we have come to expect. If you would like to help please let him know. Also, Henry and Clownie have asked that everyone please write on a slip of paper what they are thankful for as he is making a "Thankful tree" to tie the paper slips onto. He would like this done by the end of this week so that we can spend the month reading them one or two a night. Happy Thanksgiving!	News From Iowa: Sock's Traumatizing Incident By Spud the Stowaway I and some of our fellows went on an exng trip to Iowa. I was stowed away in a box, though contrary to popular belief I was put there by the little girl who often visits us. While I was there my best friend Socks and I spent time entertaining people with our songs. Then during one of our best routines The-Short-One snatched Socks up and gave him a bath! It was horrible! She washed him in the sink bathroom sink with cold water and he got soap in his eyes. Then it took the whole night and he still wasn't dry. So she used a hair dryer on him and nearly blew him away! Poor Socks is now recuperating, though the trauma may never fade. Halloween Party Excitement Our Halloween party went exceptionally well this year, despite the excitement. Doggie cooked up some exng treats, as he does every year. Apple Blossom and Cherry Pink won the costume contest with their apple and cherry costumes, and of course many games were played, not ot mention Oinkers's play "The Headless Horseman". The excitement came in the form of the disastrous hayride attempt. Spotty donated the use of his red wagon for the activity, and even offered himself as towing services. Unfortunately he got to going a bit too fast and the entire ensemble, riders, wagon and all, landed straight in the cow pond! It took quite awhile to fish everyone out in the dark, but luckily there were no injuries. Of course, no blame is put on Spotty who was merely making the ride go faster at the insistence of several of it's participants.

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