July 2004


Volume XLVIII	By Edgar T. Penguin	July 2004

Baseball Season Going Strong By Willie Baseball season is in full swing, here in Missouri. With eight games this past month, it looks as though the Stars, with five wins, are definite contenders for the House Championship, with The Chargers following close behind with four wins. Meanwhile, The Pigs and The Bears are tied with one win each. Come on guys, get with it here! The two teams are defiantly going to have to improve their play if they want any chance at all for the championship, though with two months left to go it is still anybody's game. This month will see the first match between the two Iowa teams The Avengers and The Chargers, and will also see The Stars vs The Pigs. Hope to see everyone there! Circus Coming By Boo Boo Clownie is planning a circus to take place sometime next month. So far, Clownie has signed up a few acts, but is hoping to get many more, "I am hoping that the bears from Iowa will want to be in the circus this year - it will give us so many new acts!", said the organizing clown. If you would like to do an act, or even just help out please contact Clownie or Roary and they will get you all signed up. here's looking forward to a fun circus! Notice: Concerning Kitchens Doggie has asked me to inform you that no bears are allowed in the kitchen unless they are given permission by him. He says "I am tired of clearing up after slobby teddies, and if I have to wipe up one more cocoa ring the kitchen is closing for good!" Please, everyone, clean up after yourselves! Movie Review: Return of the King By Slimella The third installment in The Lord of The Rings trilogy was better than I expected! This movie sticks much closer to the actual story, yet still manages to get a few "changes" in without being too offensive, though the whole movie has a very rushed feel to it. Of course, this is a must see for everyone, and I for one am waiting for the Special extended edition this fall!	Moving or Not? Picture by Oinkers Another Move for Displaced Bears When Joey's brother and Mother move, will the Iowa Bears be going with them? That is the question on everyone's lips. Late last month Joey's brother found a house outside of Buffalo and the moving process for him and Joey's mother has already begun. As it stands, plans are that they and the Iowa bears will be moved out by Wednesday. But, the day before this went to press, a new rumor began to float around that the bears will be staying here until Joey's Mommy and her husband find their own house, as their living with Joey's brother is only temporary. Is the rumor true? Will they indeed continue to stay here, or will they make the move to Buffalo? For now we can only speculate. In Memorial of Tippy By Oinkers Tippy was a Collie who belonged to the people in the end apartment of our building. He was a brave soul (as long as it was not thundering) who helped us to fight the alien menace. He enjoyed dog biscuits and I heard from the rumor mill that he also enjoyed pizza, but as we never fed him any I am unsure of this. He also enjoyed shaking hands and having his furry ears scratched. He had a seeming love for cats, which he used to infiltrate their society and learn their secrets. I have many fond memories of Tippy, many of which include him whinning outside our door when ever it thundered, and then of course The-Short-One or Charlie would let him in until the storm had passed. I also remember when Charlie taught him to sit with the aid of expensive dog biscuits, and when The-Short-One and her "friend" were going to go into business making and selling dog biscuits he ate their creations with out a single complaint. He also did not get into the trash or tear things up in anyway, and he was housed trained. Tippy's demise happened on the dangerous highway that our building sits next to. he was hit crossing th road in the night to visit one of his many dog friends who lived across the highway. We will all miss Tippy, especially when it rains.	Web Page Winner The Penguin Post is happy to announce a winner in the "Web Page Design Contest" : Charles the Frog. The science-minded frog won with his third entry "Penguin Delight". Hopefully I will have time this next month to get the pages switched over, so that everyone can see our new layout. The Penguin Post would like to thank everyone who submitted a design, and wants everyone to know that their ideas will be kept on file for future projects! Harry Conclusion Seymore, the physiatrist frog, has been hard at work for the last several months psychoanalyzing the Harrys in an effort to discover what makes them so bad. After weeks of hard interviews and much paperwork and speculation on his part, Seymore has finally solved the question: The Harrys are bad because they want to be. Seymore had this to say on his project, "It was a very long go to determine what drove the Harrys, physiologically speaking. I though, perhaps, their behavior stemmed from repressed feelings, or some early life-trauma, but in the end it seems that they make a conscious decision to be bad because they seem to enjoy it, or because they use it as a way of getting what they want." Seymore has published his findings on Oinker's web site, though he will be happy to furnish anyone with a hard copy that asks! Editorial: Booy's Plot By Annie For the last week something strange has happened: Booy has been good! Not only has Booy been good, he has also been nice. He has gone so far as to give Oinkers a comic book, Pigelty-Wigelty socks, and he even bought me a box of my favorite tea (though I am sure it is poisoned) Why is he doing this? What is he up to? The more optimistic say he has had a change of heart. I say, No! Once a rotter, always a rotter! Booy is up to something, it is clear from his inane giggling whenever he does any good deeds. What is his evil plot? I am not sure, but everyone watch out! I'm telling you, he is up to no good!

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