Oinker's entries
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Greetings to all, my bi-weekly web log friends! I, Oinkers the pig, am once again back to regale you with stories of humor and tragedy. The first tragedy being that Charlie has still not finished uploading my website - and best of all he doesn't remember what is uploaded and what is not! This is a nightmare! If we don't get the Internet soon I am going to pop! There was a rumor that The-Short-One was thinking about it, but since their phone bill is almost $200 I doubt it will happen (apparently the second line they got for The-Slobby-Brother-Like-Person is $75 dollars by itself). {Sigh} I was so hopeful.

The next tragedy is baseball. My team lost to Clownie - again! Then last week we didn't play, so there was no chance at redemption! We are playing tomorrow against Orange Ducky's team and hopefully we will not get completely wiped out this time! On a side note, the Iowa against Iowa game was quite a long one and went into extra innings. Finally Orange Ducky's team won 14 to 13. It was very exng, and even I wasn't sure who was going to win up until the very end.

Speaking of the Iowa bears, I suppose that i should explain to everyone why they are still here. The-Slobby-Brother-Like-Person and The-Short-One's mom stayed here until Saturday (when, incidentally, The-Short-One's Mom's husband showed up, but that is another story), and guess who got to stay here? All of the Iowa bears! That's right, they are all still here because The-Short-one's mom saw no point in relocating them to Buffalo since she and her husband will hopefully be getting their own house soon. They are planning on moving out in September or October which means that Bubbles gets to stay here with me until then! Of course he is all ready missing his mommy (though it has only been a week), but as she and her husband are always stopping by I don't see how he can be!

Now, for her husband, I think I will call him The-New-Guy for now, as I can't seem to remember his name. Anyway, he doesn't seem nearly as fearsome as Bubbles made him out to be. He seems to be fitting in very nicely with everyone (he has been away somewhere since he and The-Short-one's Mom got married, I forget where). He hasn't bothered us at all, and when he was on our computer he didn't even make any jokes about my website, so I guess he is okay - as Scrungy humans go. Though he is not nearly as Scrungy as The-Slobby-Brother-Like -Person, but then that amount of Scrungy-ness would be hard to beat.

As for the ultimate tragedy - My evil Andy plan backfired! For my finale (since I though he was moving out) I decided to bleach his hair white while he slept. Well, there I was with my little pot of dye and y little brush leaning over a sleeping and helpless Andy and guess what happened? He woke up! That's right, he sat right up in bed and hit my little pot, splattering ME with the bleaching solution! Well, it got all over my tummy, and though I ran and took a shower immediately it was too late: my pink tummy was splattered with white spots! Oh the horror and the inhumanity! Then I discovered that they weren't leaving after all, so I had to face everyone the next day with a white splotched tummy! It was humiliating! Of course Andy figured it out and turned me into the teddy council and then he tattled to The-Short-One! the Teddy Council convened and decided to have a trial, making me the defendant! Timmy was the judge, and Peanuts was the prosecution. They offered me a lawyer, but I decided it would be best to represent myself as I don't really trust any one else to do an adequate job. Well, I wanted to re-dye my tummy pink, but Timmy wouldn't let me because he said it was "evidence", so I was forced to go around with a white tummy for several days! Well, I put up a brilliant defense, but in the end the jury (aka the teddy Council) decided that I did not find the bleach pot and that it was not all a coincidence (which I maintained) and so they sentenced me to garbage duty for a month and dish duty for a month as well! i have to take out all of the trash and do all of the dishes! my poor little paws are getting wrinkled from all of the water exposure and I have over three weeks of this left! As for my tummy I finally got some pink dye and managed to dye it back to it's original color. Booy has been singing songs at me and calling me the "artificially pink piggy". I am very, very upset! I can't believe my plan backfired on me! Also the teddy Council made me apologize to Andy, and made me promise not to do anything else to him and Clownie gave me a long talk on forgiveness and how much better I'll feel once I let it go. I have finally surrendered and am going to forgive Andy, though he still hasn't apologized yet, but he is one of the few who have not laughed at me and my poor white tummy, so I guess he can't be all bad. In fact he thought that having white hair would have been "cool" and said it was too bad he woke up.

By the way, Booy has finally quit being good. It turned out he had a bet with Baby bear that he couldn't be good for a week (and then Baby Bear forgot so that Booy ended up being good for over two weeks). In the end Booy won a CASE of cookies! He has been very tight fisted with his cookies - though he gave me a box of white short bread cookies because they "matched my tummy!" Oooooooooh! That bear is gonna get it!

Oh, our circus is going to be the first week of August, and everyone has been working hard on their acts and of course on the costumes. I am looking forward to watching it, as is Bubbles.

Let's see... Oh! Fourth of July! We had a big Fourth of July party again this year, and my did we have a lot of fireworks! The people were gone all night working on the house in Buffalo, so we had a super party. Doggy, Andy, Natasha, Edgar and Moos all cooked food for two days so that we had enough (and it was very tasty). Booy and Peanuts were in charge of fireworks, and they put on quite an amazing show. Peanuts even drug out his radio and set them off in time to his tape of "Mozart's Classic Hits". It was really one of the better parties we've ever had. Absolutely nothing went wrong.... Okay, I'm lying. Jessie, Hot Stuff, Toby, Bobby Bear, our Pongo and Crabby stole a box of fireworks and lit them off so that they all shot right at the deck where we were sitting! it was chaos and pandemonium, let me tell you. There were fireworks and bears flying everywhere! The offenders ended up having to clean up the mess from the party, including all of the bits left over from the fireworks show and then they had to scrub the black top (interesting fact, fireworks set off on black top leave a white burn spot! Isn't that interesting?).

I suppose I shall go, as this has turned into a very, very long entry! Oh! Edgar's web site contest is over and Charles the frog won (surprise). I thought for sure my web site would win, but I guess it had too much red and pink in it maybe. Anyway, Edgar has re-done his site, so it is all shiny and new. Booy is currently working on re-doing his site. I am not going to help him, though hopefully someone does as he has been collecting animated .Gif's and seems to think that by stuffing his page full of them it will somehow improve it! He has no sense of style, let me tell you!

Well, bye, bye from a humbled and humiliated piggy,
O

This is Hot Stuff, Jessie, Pongo, Crabby, Bobby bear and Toby getting ready to light off their absconded fire works and cause pandemonium.

here is the horrific bleach disaster! It is pretty self explanatory.

here I am on trial (unfairly). That is my poor bleached tummy, and I am being interogated by Peanuts, while judge Timothy watches the proceedings.

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